Spring officially arrives this evening at 6:45 pm and that has lots of people excited! here are some of The Top Reasons You Love Spring.
If you live in the Northeast, only 12 more snowstorms to go 'til summer!
You can finally put your dog outside for two seconds without your PETA-loving neighbor calling the cops.
You can find all the stuff you lost in your yard last fall.
The kids spend more time outside instead of playing video games. Okay fine . . . you yell at the kids more about spending time outside instead of playing video games.
You get to retire the broken-down snow blower to the shed and start fighting with the broken-down lawnmower.
It's March Madness. And you know that THIS is the year your team is . . . already eliminated. Never mind.
As they have for centuries, girls are once again going wild.
You're an affected hipster, and you prefer wearing wool scarves only when it's WAY too warm to actually need them.
Once the weather warms up, you know it's only a matter of time before you're treated to sexy, shirtless photos of Vladimir Putin.
It's time to break out your acid wash jean shorts!
You finally don't have to hear your uncle ranting about how blizzards prove global warming isn't real.
The vernal equinox is your favorite of all equinoxes.
HAPPY SPRING!!!
BUSTED!
Well, looks like I'm not gonna win the office pool this year. Just about ALL of the teams I picked in yesterday's first round games in the NCAA tournament LOST!!! But, I'm not alone. ESPN says yesterday's upsets in the NCAA tourney caused 99.3% of the March Madness brackets to be busted. ESPN Tweeted: ''11.57 million brackets entered in the ESPN Tournament Challenge. After 3 games, 86,737 are still perfect. (0.7%)'' By the way, the FBI estimates that more than $2.5 billion is wagered illegally on March Madness. 50,000,000 employees participate in March Madness pools. Meanwhile, some employers are keeping their employees focused throughout the NCAA tournament by having their IT departments block ESPN and CBS Sports from their computers. Experts say watching games from work costs employers more than $1.8 billion in lost productivity. Yesterday and today are the two biggest sick days of the year for men.
I SHOULD BE MUCH HEALTHIER
Have you ever seen someone let their dog lick their face like they're making OUT? Gross, right? Well, it turns out you might be a fool for NOT doing it. Researchers at the University of Arizona are conducting a study to see if a dog's saliva can help with ALLERGY symptoms. Allergies and immune diseases like asthma are more common now, and it actually might be because we're so SANITARY . . . we're not being exposed to as much GOOD bacteria as we used to be. But dogs are still disgusting, so they ARE. And other studies have found that kids who grow up with dogs tend to have fewer allergies. The theory is that dogs pick up bacteria by licking things and rolling around in stuff . . . and being exposed to that bacteria helps kids build resistance. Now, if you're ALLERGIC to dogs, then letting one lick your face probably isn't a good idea.
IN THEATERS THIS WEEKEND
Accidental Love .. Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, James Marsden, Jessica Biel, Tracy Morgan, Catherine Keener, James Brolin, Kirstie Alley, Olivia Crocicchia. Jessica Biel will play Sammy Joyce, a socially awkward small-town receptionist who has a nail accidentally shot into her head by a clumsy workman, eliciting wild sexual urges. The uninsured Joyce goes on a crusade to Washington to fight for the rights of the bizarrely injured. She meets an immoral congressman (Gyllenhaal) who takes advantage of her sex drive and capitalizes on her crusade as Joyce heads into her own career in politics. Based on the novel "Sammy's Hill" by Kristin Gore.
The Gunman (Rated R) … Starring: Ray Winstone, Jasmine Trinca, Javier Bardem, Sean Penn, Idris Elba, Mark Rylance. An adaptation of Jean-Patrick Manchette's "The Prone Gunman." Sean Penn stars as Jim Terrier, an international operative who is betrayed by the organization he worked for, and must go on the run in a relentless game of cat and mouse across Europe.
The Divergent Series: Insurgent (Rated PG13) … Starring: Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet. "The Divergent Series: Insurgent" raises the stakes for Tris as she searches for allies and answers in the ruins of a futuristic Chicago. Tris (Woodley) and Four (James) are now fugitives on the run, hunted by Jeanine (Winslet), the leader of the power-hungry Erudite elite. Racing against time, they must find out what Tris’s family sacrificed their lives to protect, and why the Erudite leaders will do anything to stop them. Haunted by her past choices but desperate to protect the ones she loves, Tris, with Four at her side, faces one impossible challenge after another as they unlock the truth about the past and ultimately the future of their world.
Do You Believe? (Rated PG13) … Starring: Sean Astin, Lee Majors, Cybill Shepherd, Alexa PenaVega, Ted McGinley, Andrea Logan White, Brian Bosworth. A dozen different souls-all moving in different directions, all longing for something more. As their lives unexpectedly intersect, they each are about to discover there is power in the Cross of Christ … even if they don't yet believe it. When a local pastor is shaken to the core by the visible faith of an old street-corner preacher, he is reminded that true belief always requires action. His response ignites a faith-fueled journey that powerfully impacts everyone it touches in ways that only God could orchestrate. This stirring new film from the creators of "God's Not Dead" arrives in theaters Spring of 2015. More than a movie, it's a question we all must answer in our lifetimes: DO YOU BELIEVE?
MALARKEY FOR TODAY:
According to pagan tradition, for good energy in the home, spring cleaners should scrub in what direction?
1. east to west
2. ***clockwise
3. counter clockwise
